I can hear my brother have sex with his girlfriend next door and there is just a lot of bed creaking and I just heard her say ‘Are you even trying?’ and I laughed so hard my brother came into the room to tell me to fuck off
I AM SO MAD AT YOU THAT I WANNA EGG YOUR HOUSE
BUT ONLY WITH, LIKE, ONE EGG
A CHOCOLATE EGG
PLAced gingerly at your doorstep.
Because I like you.
i really like looking at google image searches for “firemen rescuing cats” or something because you get super cute pictures like
AND THEN THERE’S THIS ONE
"THAT’S RIGHT TWAS I that set the house ablaze!!!”
i have been laughing for ten minutes straight because of that comment
I. Can’t. STOP!
So it’s my birthday and I’m opening gifts. I open the wrapped box from my uncle.
I open the box, and find a $50 gift card, yes? But wait, there’s Styrofoam. There’s more.
Then I remove the Styrofoam…
A FUCKING LEGLESS LEGO LEGOLAS
mY UNCLE GOT ME A LEGLESS LEGO LEGOLAS
bEST BIRTHDAY GIFT EVER
he then later gave me the legs.
LEGO LEGOLAS’ LEGO LEGS
Are you Luna Lovegood